its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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