she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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