Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
