I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
