There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
