Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
