if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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