at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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