You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
