you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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