Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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