I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
