She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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