You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
