we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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