I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
