watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
