i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
