I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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