Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
