i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm like, not good at living.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize