Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
