i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
