the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
