he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
