i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
