I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
