Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
