well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
