is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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