Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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