You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
