It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
