I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
