Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love you.
Bad choice
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
