dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm too high and old for this...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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