it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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