He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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