my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
