I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
