i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
