i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
