it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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