They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
