Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
