pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
