you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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