the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
