i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
