I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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he referred to my room as the tit cave...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
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He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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