I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
