...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
