i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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