You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
