whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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