My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
