I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize