Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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