It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
