2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
